 In a world that often glorifies individual achievements and entrepreneurial triumphs, it's easy to buy into the notion of "self-made" success. I mean, it sounds sexy and certainly feeds the ego.
I have been getting a fair amount of attention after being on the cover of Rough Notes Magazine, many of the comments from others are around the success I have seen thus far. It’s true, I started from nothing and have worked hard to build over the last 13 years. However hard I have worked; I would not be where I am now without some very impactful people along the way. My husband, Adam, is the Integrator to my hyper Visionary self, without his strong sense for numbers and organization around finances, our picture would look different. Adam adds a counterbalance to me that I need which allows me to cultivate my God given strengths. My parents have been an integral part helping with our kids, it has allowed us to focus without fretting or clock watching. We would not be where we are now if it was not for their unwavering support. Three women who have been wildly impactful for me while I learned the ropes of insurance over the last 23 years – Sue Schneider, Laural Haessly & Suzie Higgins-Donovan. They poured into me and I soaked it up like a sponge. When I started the agency, I had SO many people advocate and pull for me, starting with Matt Amack. I have mentors and friends who encourage, challenge, and hold me accountable, like Carey Wallace, Chris Paradiso, Michelle O’Connor, Dawnyel Smink….and so many more! This isn’t supposed to be a ‘thank you’ blog to impactful people in my life…my point is this… Behind every success story lies a network of individuals, mentors, friends, and family members who have contributed to the journey. These individuals provide emotional support, guidance, and often the resources necessary for someone to pursue their dreams. The myth of self-made success fails to acknowledge the countless individuals who offer a helping hand, provide advice, and create an environment conducive to growth. A successful individual is most often the product of a community that nurtures, challenges, and empowers them to reach their potential. While personal determination, hard work, and resilience are undoubtedly crucial components of achieving success, the idea of being entirely self-made is a fallacy. Let's embrace the truth that success is a collaborative endeavor, reminding us of the power of connection and the importance of uplifting those around us. B.
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 A few months ago, I ended up on the phone with this financial advisor whom I had been introduced to because he had an idea to share. He spent no time asking me any questions but spent quite a bit of time sharing his accomplishments and offering me unsolicited advice, although he had no context for the advice…he does not know anything about me. To be honest, he spoke down to me.
Frankly, it was a rather stunning exchange (of course on zoom), I chose to just listen and try to contain some shock I was feeling internally from showing on my face…no really, it was to that extent. At the end of the zoom, we cordially ended, and his last words were “Let’s go make more money.” In this 15 minutes, I learned SO much and I wanted to share my 2 main take aways.
I was thankful after I was off this call, not just because the call was done…but the reflection afterword was powerful. I chose NOT to treat someone in a disrespectful manner that I was treated in, I held myself to a higher standard and I also chose not to be offended, that would have been a waste of energy. Additionally, my why has nothing to do with money, I tell my team all the time, we just need to make the next right choice and the money will be there – that has proven to be true. Much Love, B  You can’t drive forward looking in the rear-view mirror.
If you could erase all the mistakes of your past, you would also erase the wisdom of your present. I say these two mantras often, to myself and to others. I have spoken to a lot of business owners who are fearful of making a move because of fear of a mistake or a failure. Of course, our goal isn’t to fail, but in ANY endeavor in life, part of growth will be mistakes and failure. I’d argue that the statement, “success is built on failure,” is accurate. So, let’s reframe what mistakes and failure is…I believe it’s a teacher. It’s NOT if a mistake or failure happens, it’s what we do after that matters. Do we make a choice to apologize when needed, learn from the failure, and move forward with better understanding, more wisdom and to apply what we have learned to do better next time? These are the keys to the road of success – fail forward. Forward means forward, it means we don’t live wallowing and revisiting failures, it means that mistakes do not define who we are or dampen our future endeavors. Sitting in the spin cycle of fear of making a mistake creates a lack of progress, and I’d argue puts gas on any ‘problem’ that may be looming. Taking action and moving forward is the key to a healthy mindset. Even if the wrong course is chosen, you can correct course faster than those who are still stuck in the spin cycle. Moving forward helps to clear the emotional cobwebs of fear and anxiety. How we choose to frame mistakes and regrets will inevitably end in a growth mindset or cause you to shrink from your full potential. Frankly, unshackling yourself from the fear of failure is one of the most freeing things you can do for yourself – goodbye to the days of the paralysis that comes when you try to be perfect! By reframing regret as a learning opportunity and viewing failure as a steppingstone, you can develop resilience, grow as an individual and unclip your wings to fly to new heights. Fail forward my friends, B  In two of our weekly meetings, I start out by having the team share good news. In our operations meeting I start by asking, “What have you done this past week to create a “Raving Fan”? In our team meeting I start out by asking my team to share a win they have had in the past week.
 Not to brag, but my sleep score was 92 last night! I have been working on and prioritizing good quality rest for a while. Funny how sleep is so often overlooked, one of the first things we sacrifice, something few prioritize and have boundaries around. It's all too easy to sacrifice sleep in favor of meeting deadlines, pursuing personal goals, or simply indulging in the myriad of distractions available at our fingertips.
I read a quote a few weeks ago and it said, “Sleep is our foundation, without it, everything else can’t reach it’s potential.” I did a little digging on what lack of sleep does to our bodies, check out this short list: Impaired Memory and Learning Reduced Attention and Concentration Impaired Decision-Making Weakened Immune System Increased Risk of Chronic Health Conditions Mood Disturbances Increased Risk of Mental Health Disorders Reduced Emotional Regulation Increased Risk of Accidents So, clearly, beyond the obvious benefits of feeling refreshed and energized, sleep plays a crucial role in our physical health, cognitive function, emotional well-being, and overall quality of life. Some of the statistics that jumped out at me underscore the importance of prioritizing quality sleep…so you don’t have to take my word for it. -One study found that individuals who slept fewer than 7-8 hours per night had a 33% higher risk of obesity. (Source: Taheri et al., 2004) -Lack of sleep has been linked to an increased risk of hypertension, coronary heart disease, and stroke. Short sleep duration is associated with a 45% increased risk of developing hypertension. (Source: Cappuccio et al., 2011) -Sleep deprivation impairs cognitive performance, attention, and decision-making abilities. One study showed that being awake for 17-19 hours had a similar effect on cognitive function as a blood alcohol concentration of 0.05%. (Source: Sleep, Killgore et al., 2007) -The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that drowsy driving causes approximately 72,000 crashes and 800 deaths annually in the United States alone. -Sleep disturbances are strongly associated with mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety. Insomnia increases the risk of developing depression by up to 40%. (Source: JAMA Psychiatry, Bjorvatn et al., 2018) - Research published in the journal Current Biology (Walker et al., 2009) demonstrated that sleep deprivation affects the brain's emotional centers, leading to heightened emotional reactivity. My challenge to you is to honor your time of rest, don’t sell yourself (and therefore others around you) short. B.  In a culture that glorifies ‘busy’ the concept of taking time off from work or responsibilities may seem like a luxury. As I am gearing up for some time off, I am thinking about how it is precisely during these hectic times that we need to recognize the significance of stepping away from our daily routines and planning vacations in order to rest, recharge and connect. Connect not only with ourselves, but with loved ones. I was talking on the phone to a good friend this past week about books we were reading, our exchange said a lot without saying a lot. My friend shared with me recent fiction books she read, and I shared with her about a new book I picked up on team building … I re-read the first page about 5 times before putting the book down. It’s a sign that I need to take a break, my business input is on ‘full’ and I need to step away and take time to just be…maybe even pick up a fiction book! You see, planning your vacations can enhance both your personal well-being and professional productivity. Taking time off allows us to disconnect from the constant demands of our lives, giving our minds the opportunity to rest and rejuvenate. It provides a break from the everyday stressors, reducing burnout, and enhancing overall mental well-being. By planning vacations ahead of time, we give ourselves something to look forward to, which can significantly boost our mood and motivation in the present. Contrary to common belief, taking regular breaks and vacations can enhance our productivity in the long run. Stepping away from work allows us to recharge our energy levels, regain focus, and return with a fresh perspective. In fact, it is in these moments that I tend to be most creative and clear headed! By planning vacations ahead, we ensure that our time off is properly allocated, minimizing the likelihood of work interruptions or last-minute conflicts that could negatively impact our productivity. I am blessed to have Adam (my husband) who has been so good at planning vacation ahead of time, or I would tend to work non-stop and not even realize I was headed to burn out. Over time, I have realized how important it is to step away and even more so, how planning it ahead helps so much. We often plan trips or have a good idea of them a year ahead!  Vacations provide a conducive environment for creative thinking. Exploring new places, experiencing different cultures, or simply indulging in leisure activities can inspire fresh ideas and innovative solutions to challenges we face in our personal and professional lives.
On our upcoming trip we’re signed up for white water rafting and zip lines…get out there and LIVE! Whether it's a family getaway or a trip with friends, these shared experiences create lasting memories and strengthen bonds. I am looking at the stage of life I am in now, being married for almost 20 years and with two teens with jobs and one with a license…it’s all to easy to feel like we are living separate lives. Time on vacation pulls everyone together! In a society that often glorifies busyness and constant productivity, taking time off and planning vacations seem to be a rebellious act…I encourage you to take back your power and plan some time off. Dare to return to responsibilities with renewed energy, creativity, and enthusiasm. B.  When was the last time you were a beginner?
We live in a world that constantly demands expertise and mastery, where we are expected to know it all, excel in every aspect of our lives, and avoid making mistakes at all costs. The problem is that we all must start at the beginning, where we are anything but proficient and certainly prone to mistakes. We can fear judgment, failure, and the discomfort that comes with being a beginner. Our comfort zone is the breeding ground for stagnation and complacency. Stepping outside our comfort zone is not only vital for personal growth, but it is also the birthplace of innovation and progress. It is through discomfort and uncertainty that we discover our hidden strengths and untapped potential. So, Embrace the transformative power of pushing beyond these pesky comfort zones and watch yourself grow in ways you never thought possible. Freedom to fail! Failure is not the end; it is merely a steppingstone on the path to success. Every setback is an opportunity for growth and learning. When we are brave enough to be beginners, we grant ourselves permission to stumble, make errors, and learn from them. Remember, failure is not a reflection of our worth but a catalyst for growth. Failure can be fortifying and empowering when you choose to fail forward and learn! Remember, every expert was once a beginner, and their expertise blossomed because they were brave enough to start. When we shift our perspective and embrace the learning mindset, we unlock a world of opportunities for growth. Being a beginner means opening ourselves up to new experiences, gaining fresh perspectives, and acquiring valuable knowledge that can enrich our lives. We build the inner strength needed to persevere and continue growing, even in the face of adversity. Being a beginner also takes a willingness to be vulnerable. I am reflecting on two areas that I have tried something new. This weekend I went Kayaking with my girlfriends. I have always wanted to kayak but really have no idea what I am doing. I started out a little rough by tipping my kayak when getting in…made a memory. I am horrible at steering and had a few moments where I went over rocks, but I had SO much fun. I enjoyed the sun, calming effect of being outside in the water, great friends and conversation and I totally want to go again! The second area I am a beginner in is a little more intimidating for me. I am starting a video podcast! We launch in August! I’d love if you’d listen in and cheer me on as I embark on this new venture, I’m excited as this has been a long-term goal…and it’s also intimidating for a variety of reasons. If you’d like a front row seat to what being a beginner looks like… check it out: https://www.youtube.com/@UnravelingSuccess I encourage you to be brave enough to be a beginner! B  Well, it’s June…the middle of 2023. We are ½ way through the year, which is so odd because it feels like we just got started. I have noticed that as I get older, time seems to go faster, and life seems to have a lot more distractions than even when I was a young adult. I have spent the last week looking over and evaluating my written goals.
With constant distractions and ever-changing priorities, it's easy to lose sight of our goals and aspirations. We often find ourselves caught up in the whirlwind of daily routines, leaving little room for deliberate action towards our dreams. By putting pen to paper and articulating our ambitions, we unlock a transformative power that can propel us towards achieving the life we desire. Starting in October of every year, I pause and start to plan for the next year. I write down goals and evaluate what has worked and not worked this past year. Then I break my goals down to monthly and quarterly goals. I have this all laid out in my planner so it’s at my fingertips…although this helps me a lot, it still takes implementation on my end. Also, life happens so we need times to pause and ‘recalibrate.’ As I am looking back at the first part of the year, I am realizing the power of written goals. I have hit some goals this year that have been long term dreams of mine, others were stretches for my family too. The process of distilling our aspirations into concrete statements forces us to think deeply about our values and priorities. It enables us to identify what truly matters to us, providing a sense of direction and purpose. The act of writing down our goals transforms them from abstract ideas into tangible commitments. I often talk to my team about the learning loop, and part of the learning loop is writing things down…there is something I can’t quite describe about writing down a goal and keeping it in front of you. It brings clarity, focus, and a tangible commitment to our aspirations. I encourage you to take some time, write out the 2nd part of 2023 if you have not already. Take that first step today, pick up a pen, and set our intentions in motion. Here’s to an amazing end to 2023! B  This past week our team had the worst week…ever! Thank God it was only a 4-day week.
A team member’s spouse passed away while they were on a long-awaited road trip to visit family. Tuesday morning, I woke up to this crushing news. I am SO thankful that we had a team dinner early May celebrating Chris’s semi-retirement, we spent time as a team and most of our significant others…little did I know how much that dinner would mean in the future. Another team member was sick and was out for two days at the doctor’s just trying to get some answers and feel like herself. I jumped on a video call with her Tuesday morning, and it was immediately apparent that this team member’s #1 priority needed to be herself…not insurance. To add to the mix, we had a new remote team member start on Tuesday. Not the best timing given the unforeseen circumstances. Why do I share this? Well, in life and in leadership you are going to have ups and downs and lots of curve balls. When we look at our teams, a lot can be said by how a team handles the hard. I experienced a team that rallied around each other and stepped up to the plate to support in any capacity possible. We shed tears, lots of tears, we took good care of our clients, we forged forward. We had conversations about how we can lift each other up, we stayed super connected. The character I saw our team exemplify was heartwarming – these are the people I get to do a lot of life with, and I could not be prouder. We'd showed up for eachother. At my mastermind in Utah, a speaker said…the people on your team are either Ambassadors or Assassins. This is a team of Ambassadors. I think the hard can reveal who are your Ambassadors and who may be your Assassins. How does your team handle the hard? B.  In today's rapidly evolving and interconnected world, leadership has taken on a new dimension. Traditional notions of authority and command-and-control have given way to more collaborative and empathetic approaches. This past week, I was in Utah at a mastermind when I struck up a conversation that got me thinking. This leader said to me “I am tired of hearing about modern day leadership, I think it breeds a lack of accountability.” That statement got me thinking, while I think that can be the case in some situations, my opinion is, modern day leadership challenges leaders to level up and accountability may look different than it did before – but it should always exist. I am going to take some time to explore what accountability looks like in the context of contemporary leadership, its significance, and how it can foster growth and success within organizations.
Accountability can be defined as the willingness and ability of individuals and organizations to take responsibility for their actions, decisions, and outcomes. In the realm of leadership, it involves leaders holding themselves and others answerable for their commitments, obligations, and performance. I think one of the keys here is that accountability goes both ways – it’s not a one-way street! It goes beyond assigning blame and focuses on learning, improvement, and achieving shared goals. I also think that reframing how we see accountability is important, it’s an act of love. We care too much about our team and each individual to allow them to perform under what they are fully capable of, this upholds their dignity. Leaders must cultivate a culture of transparency and trust. This begins with leaders being open and honest about their own intentions, decisions, and mistakes. By demonstrating transparency, leaders foster an environment where team members feel safe admitting their errors and take responsibility for them. Trust is built when leaders consistently exhibit integrity and create a space where everyone feels valued and respected and heard. Accountability thrives when expectations are clearly defined. Modern leaders take the time to articulate the organization's vision, mission, and values. They communicate expectations to their teams, ensuring that each member understands their role, responsibilities, and the desired outcomes. By setting clear expectations, leaders provide a framework for success and enable individuals to align their actions with the organization's goals. I personally like to use team collaboration as a gentle accountability measure. Leaders empower their team members to take ownership of their work. They delegate authority, provide the necessary resources, and offer guidance when needed. By allowing individuals to make decisions and take responsibility for their actions, leaders foster a sense of ownership and motivation. This empowers employees to become more engaged and invested in their work, resulting in increased productivity and innovation. This also ties into a past post of mine where I discuss how micromanaging stifles growth. Failure is an inevitable part of any journey towards success. In a culture of accountability, leaders view failure not as a setback but as an opportunity for growth and learning. When mistakes happen, leaders encourage open discussions, seeking to understand the root causes and identify lessons to be learned. By reframing failure as a steppingstone towards improvement, leaders create an environment where individuals feel supported and encouraged to take calculated risks and they trust leadership and the learning process. Accountable leaders understand the importance of providing constructive feedback. They create a feedback-rich culture that encourages ongoing communication and dialogue. Feedback is given with the intention of promoting growth and development, focusing on specific behaviors, and offering actionable suggestions for improvement. In addition to constructive feedback, recognizing and celebrating achievements and milestones is equally crucial. By acknowledging individuals' contributions, leaders reinforce a sense of accomplishment and inspire continued excellence. By fostering transparency, setting clear expectations, empowering individuals, learning from failure, and providing constructive feedback, leaders create a culture where accountability thrives, and it’s looks and feels much different than accountability in the old ‘system.’ Embracing accountability not only cultivates trust and collaboration but also propels organizations towards achieving their objectives. As leaders continue to adapt and evolve in a rapidly changing world, accountability remains an indispensable element in the pursuit of excellence. Go love your people, B. |
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