 In a world which encourages such a ‘me’ focus, have you ever stopped to consider what are others experiences on the other side of you? Being in any relationship involves understanding the perspectives and feelings of those we interact with. Especially if you are in a leadership position, this is important to understand.
A few years ago our team did some work together to understand each other’s ‘how’ – we learned our strengths, our weaknesses and how we are all ‘wired’ (like I am a verbal processer, team motivated and tend to move really fast). This isn’t a good or bad or pass or fail, it is just a simple ‘how.” Suddenly, what seemed to be personal, wasn’t, we realized that we are all wired different. I learned how to approach each individual, they learned what my leadership style is like. Some of the areas this evaluation clarified was how you handle conflict, do you readily accept it or are you conflict avoidant, understanding this about yourself will help you understand how to manage yourself around others. Other areas indicated if you become more social or less social when meeting new people, are you team motivated or more autonomous, are you high detail or big picture? How often in life do we just navigate in a fog of unawareness of how we impact those around us? I know for myself, since I tend to move fast in my decision making, I have learned for the sake of my team and heck, even my marriage, that I need to press pause before deciding. Now, in decision making I often will pull into my inner circle to process a choice before I make a final decision, this helps me with fresh perspective and slows me down – which protects those around me who do not move as fast. I am far from perfect and also passionate about my personal and professional growth, part of that includes what others experience of me is. Recently I have had a few experiences that have made me reflect on the work I have put in on myself when it comes to being on the other side of me. It starts with the simple things, like showing up on time, in giving your attention to the person at hand rather than allowing distractions to divide you? So, what do you think the experience is on the other side of you? B.
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 Balancing the demands of business, personal and family life can be challenging. The pressure to excel professionally while managing a household and maintaining personal well-being can be a lot, everything demands a little part of you. There are two ways that I have managed this I want to share, one is the idea of outsourcing your life, by delegating certain tasks to professionals or specialized services, you can free up valuable time and reduce stress, allowing you to focus on what truly matters. The second is designing your life with what you want the end goal to look like and then making life choices that align with that end goal. By starting with the end in mind, you are less likely to get trapped in the long run into careers that are not fulfilling, and your decisions will be easier to make when you compare your decisions to if they support what your end goal looks like. Here is a quick list of areas you can consider outsourcing your life, I suggest taking a personal inventory of the areas you most need relief and starting where there is the most pain. Running a household can be a full-time job. Hiring a housekeeper, utilizing grocery delivery services or meal prep services can save hours each week. There are even services to outsources your laundry, heck, I even have a friend who has a person who comes and folds their laundry weekly! Administrative tasks and errands can be time-consuming and distracting. Virtual assistants can handle a wide range of administrative duties, from managing emails and scheduling appointments to handling travel arrangements. Errand services can take care of mundane tasks like picking up dry cleaning, mailing packages, and other daily chores, freeing up more of your time for strategic decision-making and personal pursuits. The decision to outsource parts of your life is not about relinquishing control but about making strategic choices to enhance efficiency and well-being, it’s like creating a little village of support around you. By leveraging the expertise of others, you can achieve greater success and fulfillment in every area of your life. Outsourcing allows you to focus on what you do best—leading your company to success while enjoying life! So, take the plunge, delegate those tasks, and watch as your burdens lessen, giving you the freedom to soar to new heights. More next week about starting with the end in mind. B.  This is the phrase my mom used to use on repeat growing up – “Be teachable and coachable.” I think it’s part of the reason why I love continued growth so much. When we think we have things figured out, or can’t get vulnerable, we are not teachable or coachable. When we are teachable and coachable we maintain a willingness and ability to see and be receptive to and therefore act on constructive feedback which will inevitably drive individual development and performance. In my industry, insurance, even after 24 years…I don’t have it all figured out. My goal is to be the dumbest person in the room, so I can learn from those smarter than me and those who have done more than me. I work to consistently look for feedback on what I can do better, I want to hear from those around me, what are my blind spots? To contrast this, have you ever been in a room with a person who isn’t teachable or coachable? It sucks the energy out of the room and stifles progress, no one wants to collaborate or discuss. We've all been in that room at some point. Business is changing at a rapid pace, remaining teachable and coachable I believe makes you more adaptable and in the landscape we are in now, I believe it’s a must to stay relevant. What you knew 5 years ago is not relevant now. How do we become or remain teachable and coachable? I believe first, you need to drop the ego and have a willingness to be vulnerable. You have to find a circle who will be honest with you, and you need to be willing to take constructive criticism…and then take action needed to become the next best version of you. Another way we remain teachable and coachable is seeking mentorship with a colleague that has been where you want to go, or to seek an accountability partner who will truly call you out and hold your feet to the fire when needed. As a leader, remaining teachable and coachable is paramount. Your willingness to learn and grow inspires others to do the same, creating a culture of continuous improvement will keep your team engaged and your organization always striving for excellence. B.
One area in my life I have been more intentional about in the last year is to make sure I am taking time to have fun! Create memories, try new things, and just have fun. I tend to have no ‘off’ button when it comes to work, and honestly if it was not for Adam making sure I get away – I would just keep working and working, even when I was burnt out.
After reading the book, Your Oxygen Mask First by Kevin Lawrence – one of my take aways was that I need to prioritize having fun and making memories more. My career can be stressful and there are fewer stress relievers than having fun and laughing. Having fun makes me more creative too, it’s like it unshackles your mind. Having fun creates deeper bonds with loved ones – creating new memories that will last a lifetime. This weekend Adam and I went out with a group of people we didn’t know well, we made new friends, we went out to eat, went to a concert and stayed out way later than normal. It refreshed my soul after a very long week. Today I have been reflecting on how much fun we had and am reminded about the importance of taking time to prioritize fun. So, the next time you find yourself caught up in the whirlwind of life's demands, remember the importance of taking time for fun. Whether it's a few minutes of laughter with friends or a weekend getaway, prioritize activities that bring you joy and replenish your spirit. B. My journey has been one of ambition, determination, and pursuit of reaching my maximum potential. For years, my focus was solely on building, creating, and growing. While this drive served me well, I quickly learned how anticlimactic reaching goals was, and being so one-dimensional left a void in other areas of my life, particularly when it came to friendships.
It's easy to become consumed by meetings, deadlines, and bottom lines. As I poured all my energy into growing my company, I neglected the importance of nurturing personal connections outside of work. Despite my professional success, I found myself feeling isolated and disconnected, I longed for meaningful relationships. Leadership IS inherently lonely, and as humans, we crave connection, we have not been designed to go at it alone. I am a big believer of the statement “Don’t fall into friendships,” we need to choose our friends wisely, we are the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time with! So, I started intentionally investing in friendships. Friends were there to celebrate my victories, offer guidance during setbacks, and remind me of what truly matters. Moreover, I discovered that authentically cultivating friendships outside of work had unexpected benefits for my career. Networking events and industry conferences suddenly became opportunities to connect with old friends and forge new relationships. These genuine connections often led to valuable business opportunities, partnerships, and collaborations that I never would have encountered otherwise. As I prioritized investing in friendships, I noticed a positive shift in both my personal and professional life. I felt happier, more fulfilled, and more resilient in the face of challenges. I became a better leader, as I learned to empathize, communicate, and collaborate more effectively with others. Today, I make it a point to carve out time for my friends, whether it's grabbing coffee, attending a yoga class together, or simply catching up over the phone. I've come to realize that these moments of connection are not distractions from my work but rather essential components of a well-rounded and successful life. This last week was such a blessing to me! I flew in early to an industry leadership conference to spend time with two close friends of mine (Carey Wallace and Michelle O’Connor), we headed up to a beautiful place (Seven Devils) in the mountains of NC and after that stay headed to our hotel early the day before the conference started to have a spa day – my heart felt like I was at home. Conversation flowed, we idea shared, confided in each other, and lifted each other up and ate amazing food. It was beyond great! To my fellow ambitious leaders, I urge you not to overlook the importance of investing in friendships. We have the power to shape our companies and industries, but we must also remember to nurture our relationships outside of work. After all, true success is not measured solely by professional achievements but by the depth of our connections and the impact we have on those around us. B.  As luck would have it, one of the first books I read when I started Aspire Insurance Group was Traction by Gina Wickman. Given the fact that it was just Adam and I to begin with, I self-implemented the system (Entrepreneurial Operating System = EOS) this book teaches.
This book for me is more like a handbook, it’s implementable. The fun part is that since I startedusing this system from the beginning, I can see how it’s helped us to grow and stay organized as we have scaled. It works! Here is a list of the tools that I use from Traction within Aspire:
There are coaches you can hire to implement the EOS system in your organization, or they also have a bunch of online tools HERE with downloadables that you can use as a resource to self-implament. A challenge for businesses owners is having a tried and true operating system within your business, this book provides a system you can just plug into and go. It’s simple, makes common sense and it’s just copy and repeat – any industry can use it, totally a transferable model. If you are struggling with what your internal operations and communication looks like, I’d dare to say that this is your answer. Here is a link to the book – TRACTION Have you read Traction? What were your key take aways? B.  Your habits are shaped by the systems in your life! This one sentence in the book, Atomic Habits, sums up a lot of the book. To reach goals > create systems!
After reading Atomic Habits I have changed my approach to how I set up my schedule and how I approach incorporating or removing habits. I chose small wins now, repeated over time…this concept is also something that Darren Hardy talks about in his book, The Compound Effect. In other words, eat an elephant one bite at a time. Over time, your identity emerges out of your habits, good or bad alike! Some simple examples of how I have used this book to create systems: I already have a habit of coffee every morning, so now I habit stack that and my supplements are by my coffee so I can take supplements when my coffee is brewing, this is a simple way for me to make sure I am consistent in taking my supplements. How many times have you heard someone say they have a hard time remembering to take their supplements/ vitamins? This is an oh-so-simple fix! I use the concept of a “commitment device” to work out – I am naturally very social, so I use that tendency paired with a commitment device and I coordinate all my workouts with friends through the week, so I make sure I get my movement in. Because I committed to my friend, I will show up. Then, because I am creating evidence that I show up for my workouts, it also helps me to identify as the person who prioritizes my workouts and that further drills down my habit. Accountability partners, this is a powerful one for me because I don’t want to let others down. I have a few accountability partners, for different areas in my life. This needs to be a person who is willing to call you out and will ask questions and be consistent with you. One of the last take-aways from this book that was freeing for me was the idea that boredom is the villain on the quest of self-improvement – so freshening up our routines and continuing to advance and refine and grow our habits is important. Don’t get stale! I needed to hear that because I get bored easy. Here is a link to the book if you are interested in reading for yourself: ATOMIC HABITS Cheers, B.  You can’t pour from an empty cup; it took me a long time to learn that lesson! This book, Your Oxygen Mask First walks high achievers, leaders, and entrepreneurs through a cadence in how we need to care for ourselves. These above-mentioned roles have an extra ‘pour’ associated with them, and so being sure you take extra and specific care of yourself is of utmost importance. This was the book that really gave me an Ah-ha and almost ‘permission’ to prioritize taking good care of myself and not feeling guilty. I understood the importance of my sustainability for the whole, not only my marriage, and family, but my organization!
Kevin Lawrence goes through how to throw out the idea of work-life balance (anyone who know me knows how much I hate that term), he talks about the importance of investing in our ‘sweet spots’ the things we love to do, the stuff that makes the light in our eyes turn on! He discusses “licking the toad” but my team calls that “eating the frog” – doing the hard thing first and getting it out of the way! He touches on the importance of managing our emotional and mental ‘junk’ and boy is that a good one, so often neglected. Seeking out honest feedback as a means to growth – this has become a huge passion of mine; I want to know my blind spots. He talks about being a chief problem solver, which now when I talk to my team – we discuss how we want to become solution centers. It’s fine to identify a problem, but that it the easy part, how can we fix the problem…be a solution center, take your thought process one step past identifying the problem. He talks about having tough conversations, which is an area I have seen a lot of growth in the last couple of years. How to hold your standards, and let others rise to them. That is all in a tiny nutshell…there is so much more, but the thing is…this book digs deep, it’s actionable and convicting to be honest. A true gift to entrepreneurs. In close, Darren Hardy has stated that for every $1 we invest in ourselves, we get $30 back! We are our own best investment; I could NOT agree more. This is not just for coaching and knowledge but wholistic, it’s also for our mental, emotional and physical selves too, this book really ties into that idea and helps pull it all together. Here is a LINK to the book on Amazon (no I don’t get paid). If you do read this book, I’d so love to hear tour take aways! B.  In a world saturated with success stories, it's easy to fall into the trap of believing that the path to achievement is straightforward and paved with nothing but victories. However, behind every successful individual lies a story of struggle, setbacks, and perseverance. Enter "Unraveling Success," the podcast that dares to delve beneath the surface and uncover the untold truths behind the journeys to success.
Hosted by Beth DeLaForest, a seasoned entrepreneur with a knack for uncovering the hidden narratives, "Unraveling Success" is not your typical success podcast. Instead of glossing over the challenges and hardships, each episode takes listeners on a candid exploration of the real, raw, and often messy realities that accompany the pursuit of greatness. No topic is off-limits as guests open up about failure, doubt, imposter syndrome, and the sacrifices they've made along the way. Through intimate conversations, listeners gain a deeper understanding of what it truly takes to succeed in today's competitive landscape. But "Unraveling Success" goes beyond mere storytelling. It seeks to inspire and empower its audience by highlighting the universal lessons in success, leadership and many other relevant topics. Whether it's the importance of resilience, the value of mentorship, or the beauty of embracing failure as a stepping stone to growth, every episode offers practical insights that listeners can apply to their own lives and aspirations. What sets "Unraveling Success" apart is its authenticity. In a culture obsessed with portraying a curated image of success, this podcast dares to peel back the layers and reveal the humanity behind the accolades. By showcasing the struggles and vulnerabilities of its guests, it fosters a sense of connection and solidarity among listeners who may be grappling with their own challenges. "Unraveling Success" promises to be a refreshing addition to the ever-expanding landscape of success-focused media. So, if you're tired of surface-level success stories and craving something more meaningful, tune in to "Unraveling Success" and join the journey of discovery as we explore the untold truths behind achievement. Because true success is not just about reaching the destination; it's about embracing the messy, beautiful, and often unpredictable journey along the way. I’d be honored if you’d join me! B. A change of pace today...watch my 3 minute video on how I get the most out of reading. I started this slick process in 2022 and it's been fun to see evolve. It takes a little more time and intention after you are done with a book, but I'd dare to say you have better take aways. Enjoy, B. |
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